passionate rationality by dallas curow

new blog!

2011-08-21T17:44:00.000-07:00

I've moved! Please join me at my new location, dallascurowblog.com

boston

2011-08-09T08:48:00.000-07:00

Boston is a lovely city!

Last month, I went there alone, on my first solo business trip, and had a wonderful time. As I wrote while I was there, I walked and walked and walked, and ate. When packing for the trip, I realized that I don't actually own business pants (you know, pants that make a girl look like she means business,) so I nerdily went out and bought a pair and wore them two days in a row with even nerdier cardigans to make myself look "conferency." When I arrived, I was only one of five people wearing dress pants. But I digress.

I needed and loved the alone time this trip afforded me. At the end of each day of the conference, and during lunch breaks, I skipped out of my hotel and explored the city. I've gotten into the habit of consulting Design Sponge city guides before I visit any new place, and the Boston city guide did not steer me wrong. Although these guides direct visitors to design and decor districts, I find that beautiful shops and great restaurants are usually good neighbours. Using these guides, I can shop and eat in cool neighbourhoods with ease. My friend Sara, a local, was also a huge help, and I followed her "must do" instructions religiously.

So, Boston...

After the short flight from Montreal, I landed in the middle of a beautiful sunny day.

After checking into my hotel, I went out walking in the North End.

I stopped for dinner at Neptune Oyster and ate by myself at the bar. The food, atmosphere and service here were all incredible.

Then I walked to Faneuil Hall, upon Sara's suggestion.

The next morning, the sun was bright and the day was hot! I spent my lunch walking around Boston Common.

In Beacon Hill, I stopped in at Good and 20th Century Ltd. and bought some charms.

When I asked if I could take a photo of their store, the two gentlemen working there whisked me to the back of the shop and insisted that they take a photo of me, wearing this crown. They were the coolest!

In my very short time in Boston, I grew to really love the city. It's safe, walkable, and friendly, with great restaurants and shopping. I'd love to go back soon and explore the many other neighbourhoods I didn't have time to reach this time. Good thing it's only a short flight or a 5 hour drive from Montreal!

our wedding | part I

2011-07-26T18:24:00.000-07:00

I'm so happy to be able to share these photos, and a few moments from our wedding day, with you! All of the photos were taken by our wonderful photographers, Lisa Mark and her husband, Justin. They did such a wonderful job capturing our day and we couldn't be more thrilled with the photos. Thanks, Lisa and Justin!

The day started off with an early morning, getting ready with all the bridesmaids and my mom in our hotel rooms. I had originally planned to get just one dress, the one on the left, by Betsey Johnson. My mom and I found it one day when she was visiting me in Montreal. We were just browsing and stumbled upon it. I tried it on for fun, and quickly realized it was the dress.

A few months later, while shopping with my friend Jennie in our favourite vintage store, I found the dress on the right. It was my size, in mint condition, and a great price. It only took Jennie 10 minutes to talk me into purchasing it as a dancing dress. She later would talk me into buying my dream shoes, on the left. The sparkly Toms were a last-minute purchase I made upon realizing I'd probably need some proper dancing shoes.

After we all returned from the salon, we set to doing our makeup. I did my own because I just had to. Applying makeup before a big event is pretty much ritualistic to me, and doing so allowed me to do several trials by myself in order to get it just right. I learned so much about bridal makeup throughout the process, and I plan to do a tutorial for brides-to-be in the near future.

My veil was made by Jennifer Laoun-Rubenstein, a talented montreal artist. She hand sewed dozens of brightly coloured crystals onto the French netting that I'd purchased at Sussman's in Toronto.

Here's my mom, helping me get ready!

My beautiful bouquet was made by Allison Westlake of Coriander Girl.

I wore my great great great grandmother's necklace (my something old, borrowed and blue), which was made of filigreed gold, pearls and sapphires. The rose gold watch matches my rings and was my wedding gift from Brian.

Can you see the nervousness in my eyes here? Or was it a Kit Kat craving? Thank god my mom was there to tell me to relax!

Meanwhile, Brian was waiting for me to arrive at the Berkeley Church, our wedding venue. We opted to do a first look, where we would see each other before the ceremony. This was the best decision. Ever. Seeing each other before everything happened grounded us and also gave us a few precious moments alone in the midst of a crazy day. It also allows time for more photography, which was obviously important to us! I would recommend this to everyone!

Okay, now it's time for the ceremony. My cousin Elise, our ring bearer, walked down the aisle en pointe!

Our friend Amy sang "'Til There was You" from The Music Man while we all walked down the aisle.

Our friend Mark sang "At Last" by Etta James during the ceremony.

Then Brian messed up his vows just a wee bit. But then he put on his game face.

We're married!

Brian's parents (above); my parents (below)

How awesome does our wedding party look?

That's it for now! Stay tuned for photos from the reception.

wedding day

2011-07-24T11:39:00.000-07:00

We just got our wedding photos from our amazing wedding photographer, Lisa Mark, this week. I'll be sharing some favourites on here and will tell you the story of how our big day started all classy like this:

... and gradually became a wild party like this:

Photos and stories to come!

---

First photos by me. Dancing photo by Brian (I think.)

owen sound children's portraits | brianna & sophie

2011-07-20T08:13:00.000-07:00

While I was visiting my family in Owen Sound last week, I had the chance to take photos of these two adorable girls, Brianna and Sophie. They're best friends with tonnes of energy and charisma, and definite ideas about fashion and posing. They chose all their own outfits and accessories for this photo session, made up most of their own poses, and even directed me most of the time!

It was so much fun just letting go, letting the girls do their thing, and documenting their joy, playfulness, and strong friendship.

california honeymoon | san francisco

2011-07-14T06:56:00.000-07:00

I used to seek out books that were set in San Francisco. There was something about a city that was full of all sorts of people and often shrouded in fog that captured my imagination. I would lay on my bed in my childhood bedroom, eating Oreos and dropping crumbs all over myself as I read countless stories set in the city of steep hills and free love.

We drove from Laguna Beach to San Francisco in one beautifully sunny day, along a highway (I-99) that was lined with bright pink and white flowers for hundreds of miles. When we arrived in the city during the late afternoon, I caught my first glimpse of it as we drove across the Bay Bridge from Oakland.

People think I'm crazy when I say the light is different in California, but when you spend as much time as I do looking at the dreamy, sun washed work of California phographers, or when you drive into a city and everything is bathed in silvery light, you know I'm right.

We only had a day and half in San Francisco, but I would have stayed for months. Not forever though, because my mom would live in constant fear that I'd be swallowed up in an Earthquake, but I digress.

Don't let the golden light fool you — this San Francisco in May is as cold as Montreal in November. Before we went out walking the first night, I'd been wearing the outfit below and had to stop at a store to hastily buy a jeans and a sweater!

The next morning, we woke up and pretty much walked for eight hours straight, taking in as much as we could in one day.

That night, we went for dinner at Lolo, a great restaurant in the Mission District. We ordered as many small/sharing plates as we could eat/afford and the food was spectacular. Then we met up with our friend, Rebecca, for a few cocktails and some catching up.

Before heading out the next morning, we stopped into the Ferry Building Marketplace for breakfast. While I was at the Jasmine Star Workshop, lovely fellow photographer and San Jose resident Kimberly Chan had suggested we check out the building for some great food. Kimberly, thanks so much for the great recommendation! I had a Dungeness Crab burrito and it was the best breakfast I've ever had!

As it was a Saturday morning, the market had swelled to 3 times its size as it hosted a farmer's market around the perimeter of the building. It was the most extensive market I've ever seen, selling all manner of things including beautifully coloured fruits and vegetables I'd never seen.

After breakfast, we hopped in the car and headed to our next stop: Monterey.

california honeymoon | orange county

2011-07-10T10:57:00.000-07:00

The day after our wedding, we headed up to my new family-in-law's house and were met by an absolutely gorgeous double rainbow. What an amazing start to our honeymoon. We spent the day relaxing and packing and just kind of reeling from the actual wedding day's festivities and emotions.

The next morning, Brian's parents kindly got up with us at 5 am to drive us to the airport. We were bound for California!

After landing at LAX, we picked up our rental car at the airport and drove to Laguna Beach in Orange County. The drive in was absolutely spectacular, all blue skies and rolling hills.

We stayed at a great place in Laguna. The hotel itself was nothing fancy but the view was absolutely unbeatable.

The houses on the Laguna Hills were all pastel and glass.

The light was golden and warm.

And the beach was beautiful.

I was enchanted by a lot of the architectural details. Everything was sun bleached and windblown.

Looking out over the water, we felt so relaxed.

Lots of walks along the beach. It was surprisingly quite cold there!

The air in Laguna smelled so fresh. It was heavy with salty air and jasmine flowers.

Our three days in Orange County were an awesome start to the honeymoon. We ate lots of amazing meals, drank giant smoothies for breakfast and lots of wine with dinner. I attended Jasmine Star's workshop, and we went to Disneyland. On day four, we headed up through LA, the San Fernando Valley, and then straight up north through the San Joaquin Valley, making brief stops in Bakersfield and Fresno.

neptune

2011-07-06T19:49:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went for a massage, but it did nothing to loosen my tense shoulders. If I were a sassier customer, I'd ask for my money back.

It wasn't until I got on a plane, checked into my hotel, went out walking, then sat down at the marble top bar in a small, dark restaurant and took a first sip of crisp white wine that my my muscles started to untangle themselves.

Travelling, walking in a city I've always wanted to visit but have not yet seen before, is so restorative. Carrying only a small purse, wallet and my new camera (more on that later), I set off to walk for hours.

Without my usual Mary Poppins-esque bag of stuff, my phone, and without company, I felt weightless.

I glanced down to watch the fading sunlight glint off my ring and thought of my new husband (eek!), somewhere else entirely, working on his own stuff. Cities apart, my love for him echoes steadily, as if we're thinking of each other on a loop. Distance, particularly the kind created by our separate, grown-up endeavours, makes me grow ever fonder of him. We need to take these breathers, and allow ourselves to come up for air from the depths of new marriage. Nothing changes, except something you can't name. But the first month or so of marriage after a whirlwind honeymoon (more on that later, too) have swept us away.

When I leave the restaurant the light is golden and the air smells of the sea, and of the garlic frying in the dozens of Italian eateries that surround me.

I walk slowly back to my hotel, and realize my limbs and muscles have finally gone limp from the heat, the walking, and the solitude.

webster falls engagement | lindsay + jeremy

2011-07-05T12:55:00.000-07:00

Lindsay and Jeremy's engagement session was a very special one, for three reasons:

1. These two are the best! Although Lindsay and I went to the same high school, she was a bit older than me and I haven't seen her in many years, but upon meeting at the site of the photos, she was just as friendly as ever. Jeremy is a very easy-going person with a kind smile and a lot of love for his future wife. As we explored the area surrounding Webster Falls, Lindsay and Jeremy kept cracking me me up. Lindsay has a rollicking sense of humour, and her infectious laugh kept up the high energy of our early-morning session.

2. I had the opportunity to do this engagement session by way of Lindsay's sister, Shannon. Shannon is the dreamer and the doer behind the Barter Babes Project, an enormous and inspiring undertaking that sees Shannon bartering financial advice for goods and/or services from 300 women. I met with Shannon in December 2010 for my financial consultation and I can say wholeheartedly that it was the best thing I did for myself last year. She has a vast knowledge of all things financial, and a fantastic knack for breaking it down and making it make sense for the average person.

When I met with Shannon, she knew that Jeremy was planning to propose to Lindsay the following week, and she requested that I trade an engagement session in exchange for her expert advice. Shannon actually bartered for all of her Christmas gifts this year. I was thrilled to have this awesome opportunity, and was so excited for Lindsay and Jeremy!

3. This engagement session was also special because it was the first one one which I was joined by Brian. He came along as a second shooter and took a lot of amazing photos. After generally working alone, it was a real treat to have the support and the additional photos from a second person. It was extra cool to have that person be my new husband!

---

And now, onto the photos of the lovely couple. As I mentioned, we headed to Webster Falls, which are located in Dundas (just outside of Hamilton) Ontario. The morning light was soft and pretty, working perfectly with the mist from the falls.

Lindsay and Jeremy, thank you so much for getting up early on a Saturday to come hang out with me and Brian. We had a fantastic time with you guys, and wish you the very best of luck with the rest of your wedding planning.

jasmine star workshop

2011-06-12T20:53:00.000-07:00

There are certain moments in life that are pivotal. Decisive and quick, they choose you more often than you choose them, and they leave you changed dramatically, for better or for worse.

Much more powerful and exciting than pivotal moments, in my opinion, are transformative processes. These are the ones to which you opt in and actively participate. You're choosing to make a change, and for some lucky reason, you discover amazing things and people to help you on your way.

About a year and a half ago, I stumbled upon Orange County-based wedding photographer Jasmine Star's blog. After reading a few posts, I found myself captivated not only by her stunning photography, but also by her sparkling, relatable personality that shines through in her writing.

Jasmine is incredibly giving to fellow photographers. She shares her expertise and new ideas through her regular blog in the form of reflection posts, FAQs and videos. I learn so much from her on a regular basis, and was so excited to watch both her Wedding Photography and Building your Wedding Photography Business workshops (available for download) on CreativeLive. Via the magic of the interwebs, Jasmine has become the unofficial mentor of countless aspiring photographers all over the world.

Jasmine's photographic style and approach to her business have inspired me deeply and completely transformed the way I approach photography. She leads by example and I choose, on an ongoing basis, to follow.

When I found out that she would be offering one of her Workshops this spring, and that it happened to serendipitously fall during our honeymoon, when we'd already be in California, I think I got heart palpitations. When I found out I got into the course, I looked at Brian while hyperventilating and he just smiled and said, "do what you have to do." This involved shuffling our existing honeymoon road trip schedule and changing our flights around in order to be able to attend. It was so worth it.

Jasmine wrote about the Workshop and shared her photos from the day on her blog, and--after finally settling back in after our honeymoon-- I've gotten my act together to share my own photos.

We were lucky to have Stacy and Joe Kokes, a husband and wife photography team, as our models for the shoot. Emily from Ferndales Bridal provided the styling and clothing, Vivian Tran of All Made Up took wonderful care of Stacy's makeup, and Heavenly Blooms provided the exquisite bouquet.

It was so cool to meet and shoot alongside 19 other photographers from all over North America. You guys are awesome!

The shoot took place in a beautiful park in Irvine, California in the super bright, afternoon sun. Jasmine wanted to challenge us and with conditions that bright, she was successful! She began by choosing the location, getting Stacy and Joe set up, and then advising us on camera settings.

And just like that, we got started. All 20 of us stood in a tightly packed group, snapping photos like crazed, very happy paparazzi. Everyone was incredibly conscientious, making sure each other photographer had enough room to get his or her shots.

How gorgeous are Stacy and Joe? They were incredibly sweet and very obviously in love.

At the end of the workshop, JD—Jasmine's amazing husband and business partner—snapped this photo of her and me. Jasmine and JD, thank you for a simply wonderful day. You two have such a wonderful effect on everyone who meets you — we are all changed for the better.

ottawa engagement | jennie + zach

2011-06-07T14:04:00.000-07:00

The first time Jennie met Zach was actually the second time.

The first time, it was Halloween and he was dressed as a 70s cop, complete with a dirty faux mustache, skin-tight pants, and a pair of handcuffs he was twirling theatrically.

The second time they met, clean-shaven and wearing much looser pants, Zach re-introduced himself. After the recognition slowly kicked in, Jennie found herself looking into the eyes of someone with whom she planned to spend a lot more time.

The first time I met Zach, it was Halloween the following year. He arrived at our apartment dressed for the party as a Coureur-des-bois with Jennie by his side as a beaver. Even through all their Canadiana costume garb, I could see that they had fantastic chemistry. I saw that my best friend had met her match in a man whose love for costumes matched up perfectly with her knack for sewing them.

Since that night, Brian and I have spent just about every Halloween with these two. Zach has a flair for the dramatic and Jennie creates costumes more striking and impressive for him with each passing year.

Last Halloween, Zach had even more exciting plans. He placed the small box in his coat pocket and the two of them headed out with some friends to catch a screening of The Shining. After the movie, Zach suggested they take a stroll to Ottawa's Parliament Hill, where they'd shared their first kiss. Unfortunately, Jennie had had a bit too many refreshments during the movie and was in desperate need of a bathroom break. Reluctantly, Zach agreed to head home.

Once back in their apartment, it was Zach who couldn't hold it. As soon as Jennie stepped out of the bathroom, he dropped to one knee on their bedroom floor--amidst the laundry in the home they share together-- and asked her to marry him.

As a couple, they have an infectious positive energy and joy that enchants everyone who meets them. Jennie was one of the maids of honour in our wedding, and Zach was a groomsman, and they are two of my best friends in the world. I am so excited for their wedding next year!

Jennie and Zach, I love you both, and you knew that already, but I really loved taking your photos. I had so much fun with you in Cumberland Village, just as I do every time we hang out.

wedding | getting ready

2011-06-03T13:15:00.000-07:00

I couldn't sleep the last few days before our wedding. I had serious anxiety, the world's most unwelcome cold, I'd lost my voice, and--despite my euphoria--I was just feeling awful. The night before the big day, determined to grab at least one stretch of rest, I dosed myself up on Nyquil and was able to finally breathe and sleep.

The morning of the wedding, I woke up with the sun, turned on the hot water and gleefully dropped the bath bomb the girls had bought me into the tub. As I sank down into the heavily scented water, I coaxed my mind to wake up without spinning out of control. Was I ready for this?

When the water turned cool, I got dressed and tiptoed out of the bathroom. Sitting down at the desk, I grabbed the hotel stationary and attempted to start writing my speech. I scribbled down thank-yous, small thoughts and big feelings. I whispered it out loud to myself, glancing over my shoulder to make sure the girls (still asleep) didn't think I'd totally lost it. Hearing myself read it, I realized that it just sounded much too stiff. I decided the best thing to do would be to just wing it.Unfortunately, this decision did not make me feel any more ready for the big events ahead.

It was at this moment, however, when I finally came to terms with the fact that I was not ready. How could I be? It's not possible to be ready for something you've never done before. I've never been married, and I shouldn't know what this is supposed to feel like, or what to expect, and I shouldn't be ready. I should be brave, in spite of being nervous.

Around the time I finally told myself to shut up and just have fun, the other girls were waking up. I was as mentally ready as I was ever going to be, so it was time for us all to get glammed up!

After a quick breakfast, we headed over the the Aveda Institute to get our hair done.

As you can see below, it was extremely foggy in the morning. I love the fog, so I couldn't resist snapping a few photos on our walk.

Inside the Institute, we were in good hands. All the students, advanced graduates and instructors who worked on our hair were extremely talented and creative. They were more than happy to try any style the girls requested. Jennie even pulled a photo of her style up on her phone and her stylist just squinted at the screen, nodded, asked a few questions, and got started.

Nothing comes between a Scottish girl and her morning tea!

Once back at the hotel, my mom brought me the most special wedding gift: my great grandmother's pearls. Oh man, cue emotional surge!

Thanks, mom!

I had to keep the clips and tissue paper in my hair until the last minute to allow the style to set properly. After this, we all met up to do our makeup and make use of the amazing Temptu airbrush system my friend Kate gave me. Unfortunately, I don't have photos of that part of the day, since I was doing the makeup.

Meanwhile, the boys were getting ready in another part of town. My little brother Jeremy was nice enough to pop over and take a few pictures of them getting ready.

I was so impressed by their attention to detail. Look at Zach ironing his pocket square with military precision.

And yes, the groom even deigned to give one of our best men a neck shave.

Half-dressed, and possibly only half-awake.

And then it was off to the venue!

Next up: wedding day snapshots

wedding | final prep + rehearsal

2011-06-02T12:18:00.000-07:00

In the final weeks before our wedding, Brian and I did not get a great deal of sleep. More excited than stressed, we scrambled to take care of all the final details. We weren't taking ourselves too seriously or allowing a wedding to cause us any drama, but we wanted to ensure that we threw one hell of a party.

I am terrible at delegation, but our friends and family refused to take "we're fine" for an answer and insisted on helping. We were extremely grateful for their insistence! While my parents and their friends were buying boxes of vases at farm auctions, building the photo booth, and wrapping jars in lace to create candle holders, some of our friends in Montreal were hand-crafting flowers from tissue paper.

After every last flower, ribbon, and candle had been packed, it was time to start packing for our honeymoon.

Two days before our wedding, our family and wedding party met for an amazing meal at Terroni after our rehearsal at the venue.

Me with my lovely bridesmaids [I really should have worn heels with this outfit, I know]

The groomsmen + my dad - Adam (who was still in NYC at this time)

Deanna and Elise, our flower girl and ring bearer.

Parents of the groom

My parents

Dave and Christina, awesome friends and unofficial wedding party members

Jessica, Carolyn, and Roz

Me and Brian

Then we all headed back to our homes and hotels to get some rest before the big day
.

Next up: getting ready

wedding | the lead up

2011-05-31T20:51:00.000-07:00

I'm back in Montreal after the most wonderful honeymoon a person (or two people, in love) could possibly hope for. We drove all around the state of California, and I snapped about 2000 photos along the way. I have so much to show you, but before I get to that, I'd like to back up a bit and talk about the last few weeks before our wedding. We'll roll back the clock to about a month ago.

In mid-April, we went home for Easter weekend. Winter lingered way too long this year, so I was really happy to see that everything was starting to turn pretty and green.

We went for long walks in the woods to clear our heads.

We lagged behind the runners.

Then my friends and family threw me the most beautiful bridal shower. Please excuse how awkward I look in the photo below. It's weird sitting on a chair in the centre of a room!

I got to hang out with my mom!

It was so nice to spend time with friends who I don't get to see as often as I'd like to, such as these girls:

And there were lots of cupcakes

Then there was a lazy Sunday with board games

and more walks in the woods

and then, when we got back to Montreal, our friends there dreamed up the most amazing stag/ette ever. They decorated the lawn in flamingos (since I adore them in both real and tacky synthetic forms).

Such a whirlwind of events! Thanks again to everyone. I love you guys.

Up next: final wedding preparations and rehearsal dinner

on honeymoon!

2011-05-18T19:24:00.000-07:00

We're spending our honeymoon in the golden state! I'll write all about the wedding once we're back. Until then, have a lovely month of May!

I'm getting married today!!!

2011-05-14T04:05:00.000-07:00

It's 7 am and I'm the only one awake and I am just so excited for the day to start! Now, to write my speech...

old montreal portrait session | leo

2011-05-04T19:04:00.000-07:00

Leo is a gentleman in the truest sense of the word.

When we met for his portrait session in Old Montreal, he greeted me with a huge smile, impeccable manners, and a strikingly warm, easygoing attitude. His kindness and positive energy make him a joy to be around, and his ease in front of the camera made my job easy!

Leo, thanks for a great afternoon. I had so much fun taking photos while wandering the streets of Old Montreal in the gorgeous afternoon sun. I know you've got an amazing future ahead of you in your acting career and that casting agents will scoop you up once you move to LA next year. You'll be a great leading man!

one month

2011-04-14T18:54:00.000-07:00

Can you believe it? As of today, there's only one month left until our wedding. How did we get here so quickly? I suppose it happened day by day, with each one seeming shorter than the one before it. By the time we are finished working, working out, running errands, cooking, and crossing things off our wedding to-do list, it's almost invariably past midnight.

It always feels like we're not doing enough. No matter how hard we try, there are always photos to edit, people to call, papers to mark, or pages to write. Every day seems to have so much unfinished, and the days flow into each other, punctuated only briefly by sleep.

So I wanted to write today to mark this place in time. I want to give us a reference point, a small piece of something to hold on to when we try to remind ourselves what this time felt like.

It feels like it always does, but with more blissful highs and much tenser lows. We argue and we apologize. I jump up and down with excitement over ideas and you smile in spite of yourself as you calmly try to explain why I can't hang 140 photos of our guests from ribbons. When we argue, we do so knowing deep down that these things that seem so critical now are so insignificant in comparison to what really matters about a wedding day.

I show you endless photos and videos of other peoples' love stories on wedding blogs, because I am so in love with love, in all its expressions and permutations.

You don't care about other peoples' wedding photos; you're just in love with me (yay).

Oh, and with the Montreal Canadiens. I get mad and yell that you love hockey more than me. You don't try very hard to deny this. It is, after all, the first day of playoffs. But like I said, I love love, and I will begrugdingly admit that this extends to your affection for the Habs. Why else would I wake up at 6 am on a weekend to take photos of you playing on your beloved team's ice?

The closer we get to putting our rings on and making this 6+ year love affair officially official, the sharper everything comes into focus. It's like I'm suddenly looking at our relationship under a magnifying glass, rushing to talk about things and develop this nomenclature for everything. Like I need to be totally, completely aware of everything about us and what it means now vs then vs going forward. I must drive you crazy. I drive myself crazy.

The truth is I know nothing will become irrevocably locked-in once we say our vows. The moment that you start looking at marriage as the end of something is the moment that a ring becomes akin to a shackle.

You aren't a girl, so you might not remember this, but Claire's used to sell these awesome Best Friend Forever (BFF) heart necklaces. You would buy them with a friend, split them in half, and each friend would wear half a broken heart around her neck. That's kind of emo, looking back, but they were so cool! I halved many of them with many great friends over the years, and I was always happy knowing I had BFFs.

Anyways, I think of our wedding rings as high class bff heart necklaces. Starting next month, I will wear my wedding ring knowing that my very best friend always wears its complement. Forever.

Like anything real, love changes with each passing day. It's evolving alongside us, and in between us. It is even more exciting now than it was when you were courting me by making me mix CDs.

Yeah, we feel buried under a huge pile of tasks and ideas right now, but we're digging our way to the surface together and soon it will all be so worth it.

old montreal engagement | ria + don

2011-04-12T17:36:00.000-07:00

"I'm the crazy-scrambly-late one and he's the shirts-folded-up-and-laid-out-the-night-before one," Ria joked she as she explained how she and her fiancé, Don, prepared for their engagement photo session.

"I guess that can be said of our relationship in general, though."

It's this balance the scattered and calculated, the silly and the serious that create such a lovely harmony between these two. Her effervescence is met by his quiet charisma, and when she feels she's acting the goofiest, that's when he's smiling the widest.

Ria and Don met at the University of Alberta, where they were both studying at the time.

"He was much older than me, but no, he wasn't my TA if that's what you're wondering," Ria joked.

It was in fact their shared passion for science that brought them to the same lab, where they met. Don't you love stories of people finding love while doing what they love? That's the best way, I think.

They're both still doing what they're truly passionate about; Ria's doing her PhD in Biology in Montreal and spending summers doing field research in Uganda, and Don is a postdoctoral medical researcher in Boston.

So now they're not only becoming experts in their fields, but also in cross-border travel. The roads, train tracks and air space between their two cities are becoming very familiar as they traverse towards each other as often as possible.

Ria and Don, thank you for inviting me to spend a beautiful Saturday afternoon with you. I had an absolute blast taking your photos and witnessing your adorable antics in Old Montreal.

my bachelorette party

2011-04-05T18:44:00.000-07:00

I'm writing this because I don't want to forget a single moment of my bachelorette weekend.

My best friend and maid of honour, Jennie, with the help of the rest of my wedding party and some of my friends, planned the most amazing, fun-filled weekend for me.

Because I love to plan parties and because I thrive on lists, spreadsheets, and all the other things that go along with project management, I tend to have a hard time giving up control. I would much rather do something myself rather than burden someone else with it. I tried to convince my Jennie to let me plan my own bachelorette party because I felt bad having her take on such a big task for my sake. She told me to shut up.

I am so glad I did.

She kept everything a secret until the last possible minute, planning a whirlwind weekend of activities for me. Every single detail was thought through, and everything she planned was so perfect for me it made me tear up constantly.

After a relaxing and wonderful Friday at my co-maid of honour's place, we headed over to my future parents-in-law's house so Brian's mom could help us with our beehives (having been a queen bee herself in the past). Using her old high school yearbook photos as inspiration, Jennie insisted on doing my hair for me. Every time I reached up to help, she swatted my hand away and told me to chill out. She did let me take this photo of the process, though.

And that turned into this:

Then we headed into the city to get ready for the evening's activities in our hotel room (which was also a surprise).

We assembled our outfits and headed to the cutest little Cuban restaurant for dinner.

Everyone had dressed for the "Sixties Chic" theme that Jennie had come up with!

We then headed to a Karaoke place, where Jennie had rented us a private room!

Here's me in all my tacky attire, looking like a crazy old lady!

There was a Pin the Nose on the Lion game, with my poor fiancé's face in the centre.

My full outfit, in all its glory

Last stop was a the upstairs of a great pub, where much hilarity was to ensue.

At the very end of the night.

But not before some of the girls tried to pick up — literally — a few men.

The next morning in our hotel room: a very bright beam of light!

And then a quiet breakfast before we all headed back to our separate cities.

Thank you, everyone, for the best night ever!

burlington wedding | jonina + jeremy

2011-03-20T20:45:00.000-07:00

Her beautiful red hair gleams as she adjusts a bobby pin to put the finishing touches on her updo. Her hair and makeup complete, she looks around to see who else in her wedding party still needs help getting ready. Within minutes, she is applying her sister's makeup, and touching up her mom's. She then decides a headband might add to her hairstyle, so she sits down at her grandmother's sewing machine, pulls out some black lace, and whips one up.

Appearing completely calm throughout all these last-minute preparations, she casually holds her hands over her rounded stomach. On this day, her wedding day, Jonina is blissful not only because she's about to marry the man she loves - she's also expecting their child.

At the Atrium Conference Centre, Jeremy is hanging out with his groomsmen, waiting for his bride. As he walks into the room where the ceremony will take place, someone asks him if he is nervous. He grins widely and simply says, "No way. I just want to do this!"

This charming man with the mischievous smile has captured Jonina's heart. Her beauty, grace, warmth, and generosity have captured his. In fact, it is immediately clear that she has stolen the hearts of Jeremy's entire group of family and friends. The amount of love in the room for the bride and groom, as individuals, and as a couple, is palpable.

Throughout the ceremony and speeches at the reception, love, family, and embracing the unexpected yet lovely gifts of fate were recurring themes. Jonina and Jeremy knew the first night they met that their connection was powerful. When he proposed after six months, Jonina knew beyond a doubt that "yes" was the only answer. When they found out they were expecting, they knew there must have been a reason they'd finished most of their wedding planning early. Things were, it seemed, meant to happen this way.

Jonina and Jeremy, I was so honoured to photograph your beautiful wedding and to be a part of your wonderful day. I find it so cool that when we did your engagement photos back in August, Jonina was just about to discover she was pregnant! I know you two will be truly happy together, and that your baby will have wonderful, loving parents. Congratulations and enjoy every moment of the big events to come!

Jonina's elegant dress, which was ready just in the nick of time, one week before the wedding, and her gorgeous citrine engagement ring.

Jonina is a seriously talented makeup artist. She did all the hair and makeup for Kaitlin and Pat's wedding that I photographed in 2009, and, as I mentioned before, she did a lot of the hair and makeup for her own wedding party.

Oh, you know, just making a lace headband an hour before my wedding, no big deal!

Lauren, Jonina's sister and maid of honour, made the beautiful wedding cakes. The girls snacked on the leftover icing as they got ready.

The antique lock Jeremy gave Jonina as her wedding gift.

To see more photos from Jonina and Jeremy's wedding, visit my Flickr page

first wedding of 2011

2011-03-14T16:43:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, my friend Jonina (right) married her love, Jeremy (left). I'll share the photos and tell you all the details in my next post, once I'm finished editing. Right now, however, I'd like to talk a little bit about the experience of shooting this wonderful wedding.

There were 6 things that made shooting this wedding so awesome:

1. My little brother was my second shooter

That's right - he was both my "date" and second shooter. Brian was at a conference and unable to attend, so my brother stepped up to the plate. As we headed to the wedding, he played "Marry You" by Bruno Mars and mumbled "I thought this would be a good song to listen to on the drive." Cute alert! Dressed in a (borrowed, from our other brother) shirt and tie, he was so helpful and professional, and I was so grateful for his help and company.

2. I shot the wedding with a Canon 60D

I bought this camera back in December and instantly fell in love with it. The quality of the images it produces is SO much higher than that of my Rebel XTi. My decision to upgrade (despite it not being the easiest time to invest, read: wedding this year) was instantly affirmed when I saw my first images. I especially love the fold-out screen and the way it takes crisp images up to ISO 3000.

3. I used a Shootsac

After several obvious hints, I received a Shootsac lens bag for Christmas. Invented and sold by California-based photographer Jessica Claire, this neoprene bag fits very comfortably over your shoulder and has room for 3 lenses + memory cards, batteries, flash, wallet, keys, phone, etc. It made swapping lenses super quick and easy. This was incredibly helpful, especially because...

4. I shot the wedding almost exclusively with prime lenses

A prime lens is a lens with a fixed focal length e.g. 50mm. It doesn't zoom. To get closer or farther from your subject, you have to physically move. The two main advantages of prime lenses are that they are fast and that they generally have wider apertures, allowing you to shoot in lower light at achieve that beautiful blurred background effect. Also, I find that having to physically move to frame a shot makes you be more mindful and creative with each photo. Right now, I have a 50mm 1.8 lens and an 85mm 1.8 lens. I am dreaming of upgrading to the high-end versions, but each will cost me about $2,000. Eek! But it will be so wonderful when I can finally afford them.

5. I wore flats

Enough said!

6. Amazing people

Jonina and Jeremy, their wedding party, family and all the guests were so kind, warm, and welcoming. People were actually getting me water and constantly asking if I needed anything throughout the day! There was so much love and fun in the room at all times. Also, it is always a sign of a good wedding when the dance floor is packed during the very first song of the night.

Stay tuned for photos from the wedding.

a bachelorette party in niagara falls

2011-03-09T19:30:00.000-08:00

My beautiful friend Lindsay is getting married in Mexico in less than a month. Although I sadly can't make it to the festivities, I had the chance to celebrate with her and 16 other girls at her bachelorette party this weekend.

Driving into Niagara with Kaitlin and Amanda, two of the first people who befriended me when I was the new kid in high school, I remembered again how lucky I am to have had these people in my life for so long. When we met 14 years ago, we were just starting high school.

Lindsay and Kyle, the bride and groom-to-be, also met in high school. They were sweethearts who parted ways and reunited several times. When Lindsay followed him to Australia (where he was living while in school) they got back together for good. I'm so happy for the two of them, and know they will be a great couple, forever.

365 project | february

2011-03-01T18:28:00.000-08:00

February flew by this year, though it was more short than sweet. The severity of winter in Montreal can make the second month hard to bear. It gets so cold that the tears blown out of your eyes by the wind nearly freeze up on your cheeks. It stings the skin, chills the bones, and dampens the spirit. Hibernation seems like the best option.

Some nights, if my mood is brighter, I look out the window or walk in the cold and marvel at the beautiful, crystalline fantasy of February.

warm fuzzies + a snowy saturday

2011-02-21T19:14:00.000-08:00

As you might have been able to tell from my last post, I have been pretty close to hitting a wall over the past few weeks. Even at the best of times, there's just so much to do. When I feel SO strongly about what you want to be doing most, everything else I have to do seems to pile up like blocks in a bad round of Tetris.

Fortunately, 3 things happened this week that made me feel a lot better.

1. I received several extremely thoughtful and touching emails in response to my last post. To those of you who wrote to me, thank you so much. Your words make me feel warm and fuzzy and, most of all, hopeful and supported.

2. I spent this Saturday at TEDxConcordia with my friend Deanna (pictured in the photo above). It was lovely and sunny out, with a beautiful dusting of sparkly snow on the ground. The conference was packed to the brim with energetic, approachable, fascinating people and inspiring ideas. The talks themselves were all amazing. As with most TED talks, they should be posted online, so you'll be able to watch them some time in the near future.

3. Brian and I went to see the carvings of our wedding rings before they are cast in gold (mine in rose gold; his in yellow) this week. He also bought his wedding suit! We're now working on planning the honeymoon. We've booked a convertible for our California road trip, so we're off to a good start!

So this week, instead of worrying about everything I'm not doing and how that makes me feel stretched and inadequate, I'm focusing on the things that I'm doing that make me feel great. One week at a time, folks.

the slow burn

2011-02-15T17:59:00.000-08:00

Have you ever wanted something so, so badly that not having it yet begins to physically hurt?

Maybe it's that roller coaster feeling in your stomach or that ache in your chest. For me, it's both. At the same time. It doesn't come in bursts; it's constant. It's an ever-present feeling of desire for something that is not yet within my reach.

I call it the slow burn.

I've had this feeling many times before. The most pronounced instance, of course, being when I knew I was head over heels obsessed with Brian but didn't have the courage to tell him. I couldn't eat, sleep, or barely breathe. There was no relief to be had until I confessed what I felt. Once I did, everything in my world changed and, 6 years later, that's brought me (well, us) to where we are now.

The slow burn has been warming up again. It's at the point now where I just have to write about it to try to alleviate some of the constant pressure that's building inside. This time the burn, the longing, is photography.

As you might have guessed, this is by no means a new thing. I've been in love with photography for years. Over the last year, however, my feelings toward it as a craft and as an experience that I share with people, have absolutely exploded. It's a full-fledged addiction. It's all I think about. If I don't have plans for a shoot on a weekend, I feel antsy and upset. Even doing my 365 project and taking a photo every single day is not enough. I'm insatiable!

Brian now mysteriously disappears or mumbles something about working on his dissertation when he sees me approach with either my camera or my notebook of business ideas to run by him. My slow burn is giving him hives.

I've had this feeling for so long and it's getting so pronounced that I can't even imagine not feeling it. But what should I do about it?

I just keep shooting, brainstorming, and using this slow burn to fuel the writing of my business plan, the building of my new website, and the dreams of new photo ideas. I can't think of anything better options that to keep doing what these crazy feelings are driving me to do.

mcgill virtual tour

2011-02-10T17:01:00.000-08:00

I'm so excited to announce that my biggest photo project to date, the McGill Virtual Campus Tour, just launched. I took over 4,000 photos (everything except residences and food services) of McGill's downtown campus' 70+ buildings. More photos will be added in the coming weeks, too.

I worked on this project with the most amazing people. It was so nice to be part of a project team that was so collaborative and creative. This is actually quite rare at large institutions, where new ideas often make people nervous, or are considered too risky. Everyone involved in this project was full of enthusiasm, which made for an awesome working environment. A special thanks to Adriana for giving me the opportunity to do this and for taking a risk by trusting a lifestyle photographer to shoot architecture.

Here are a few quick screenshots of the tour, but please do take a look at the tour itself if you're interested.

things i'm loving: pinterest

2011-02-07T18:44:00.000-08:00

If you're at all interested in art, fashion, design, photography, or beauty, you have to check out my new obsession: Pinterest.

Falling in love with images online is a common occurrence for me, so I keep an inspiration folder on my desktop that I'm constantly filling with things I find gorgeous. But this folder gets messy and is hard to browse, you see?

When I discovered Pinterest, I was ecstatic to learn that I could bookmark or "pin" images while I browse blogs and other sites, and save them to "pinboards" organized by subject.

Once you apply to join Pinterest, you can install the bookmarklet in your browser. When you see something you like, you just hit "Pin it" and all the images on that site pop up. You pin the one you want, like so:

You assign this pin to a board, add a description and tags and pin it like this:

What's great about pinning is it preserves the link to the source of your image, for easy photo crediting or reference later.

You can also follow the boards of other users, or re-pin their pins to your own boards. Browsing through all your contacts' pins is like looking at a dynamic, evolving inspiration board. If you follow people with like interests and tastes, you'll find yourself discovering more beautiful things that you could ever come across alone. E.g.:

So far I'm using it to keep track of makeup and beauty ideas, wedding fashion and decor, style, decorating, and photos I find truly captivating. You can use it to save and organize pretty much anything, however, from recipes to potential dogs to adopt.

You can also login and link your Pinterest account to either your Facebook or Twitter handles, which saves time and allows you to share or tweet your finds with your friends and followers.

So, join up and follow me so I can follow your pin boards and see what you find beautiful or inspiring!

365 project: january

2011-01-30T18:20:00.000-08:00

January is just about over - can you believe it? If, like me, you've spent most of the month hibernating indoors, you too might be surprised by how quickly the days have flown by. Well, with only about 8.5 hours of sunlight, they are pretty short days.

The most surprising part of my 365 project has been the photo diary aspect of the process. Since I didn't have any planned shoots this month, my photos were really just documents of what I was up to each day. I found myself feeling oddly exposed by this, as if anyone who viewed my photos would see how banal my life can be.

For the most part, the photos I post or am tagged in are a carefully chosen and edited collection of curated moments, the ones that we and our friends deem as moments worth preserving and sharing.

The quietest moments, the most humdrum days, the coldest nights: they are the things we seldom photograph. We keep them tucked away to gather dust in our memories, as the fleeting posed moments shine brightly in our digital albums.

Even though it makes me feel uneasy to share myself through daily photos in this way, I'm planning to stick to it for two reasons:

1. I want to force myself to practice my craft with discipline. I want to push myself to be uncomfortable as I struggle to find different subjects and different ways of seeing. I want to grow to be a better photographer with a more versatile style, and nothing makes you grow like discomfort.

2. This is going to be a busy year and, especially in the final months leading up to our wedding, I don't want to forget a single day.

wedding planning: hairstyle

2011-01-17T10:31:00.000-08:00

Finding a wedding hairstyle is more of a process of elimination than a search.

Browsing magazines and beauty blogs is a deeply ingrained part of my weekly internet wandering, and as such I regularly come across hairstyles that make me swoon. Sifting through all these to find one that would actually suit my face and work with my hair type is where the real effort lies.

Although I'd love to wear my hair in ringlets, if there is a hint of humidity or rain on the big day, those coils would be flattening out in seconds. I'd love to wear something elegant and sleek, pulled right back off my face like a ballerina. Unfortunately, I was not blessed with the best bone structure. My face shape is that of upside-down egg (in Brian's words), and more puffy than chiseled. As such, I'm better of with something more voluminous.

I started to consider a Texas beauty pageant-inspired style, or different variations on a beehive. This was quickly shot down by my friends who convinced me that "you want people to notice you when you walk down the aisle, not your huge hair!"

The photos below represent the final collection of images I took my stylist, so we could narrow it down to the style that would work best with my face, hair and outfit.

As we discussed the options, I suggested the idea of a convertible hairstyle: updo for the ceremony, down for the reception. I'd gotten the idea from Laura + Billy's CreativeLive wedding, and loved the idea of having both the elegance of an updo and the party style of loose curls. Luckily, my stylist was willing and excited to do this.

We decided on an updo that was a hybrid of the top two images, though a bit more loose and less shellacked. She showed me how to take down the updo and restyle it slightly so it resembled something between the images of Kristen Bell and Lara Stone. She did an excellent job, and I'm confident she'll make it look even better on the actual day.

To find the perfect style for you, I suggest considering the following factors:
- hair length
- hair texture
- face shape
- season (read: humidity factor)
- tone of the wedding

love story | chris & thom

2011-01-11T17:43:00.000-08:00

After talking for hours, neither of them was ready to go home. So, instead of saying goodbye after what had been an amazing first date, they picked up a few snacks, and walked to a nearby park.

It was in there that Chris and Thom stayed up all night, sharing tea and pie, laughing at the different characters who wandered by, asking each other a million questions. They sat cross-legged in the tube of the playground and talked until the sun was just about to rise.

They've been together ever since.

Thom lives here in Montreal, and Chris is doing his PhD in Philadelphia, but the long phone calls, emails, and texts that characterize a long-distance relationship are precious to them, and only make their connection stronger.

Chris contacted me with the sweetest birthday gift idea for Thom: he asked me if I would take photos of the place where they fell for each other. I was so honoured to be asked. How amazing to document a place that special to two people.

With Chris' help, I tried to capture their park as it must have looked that night, and convey that dreamy tunnel vision and obliviousness to fatigue that fresh love brings.

Chris, thank you for sharing this memory with me, and for allowing me to help re-create it for Thom. Also, thanks for the coffee; it was damn cold that night!

engagement | rozlyn & kris

2011-01-05T15:29:00.000-08:00

Being around Roz and Kris always feels warm and cozy. Perhaps its the way they welcome people into their beautiful home, the bottomless cups of tea that Roz serves (like the good Scottish lass she is), or maybe it's their kind and generous way of treating both friends and strangers. Whatever the reason, people who spend time around Roz and Kris feel good.

Roz is an artist, an animal lover (and frequent adopter) and a teacher-in-training. She makes everything around her more beautiful and she makes a mean vegetarian chili. Kris is one of those steadfast guys who is deeply loyal, reliable and pragmatic. He is equally happy on a long walk with their dogs, or on a long motorcycle ride. With their creativity and practicality, Rozzie and Kris just complement each other perfectly, like the two sides of a brain.

Their love for each other has been simmering for about, oh, a decade, so I couldn't have been more excited when Roz called me to tell me they were planning to make their longtime love officially official.

Congratulations, you two! I can't wait to photograph your wedding.

Where: Rozlyn & Kris' backyard in Burlington, Ontario and the field and forest beside it.
When: December 20, early afternoon
Makeup: by me
Styling: by Roz

365 Project

2011-01-03T20:59:00.000-08:00

Have you heard of the 365 Project? To join, you take a photo every day for a year and share each one. Since I photograph at least something every day, I thought I'd make it official and join the project. The idea of documenting what will undoubtedly be a very crazy year appeals to me. Time moves so quickly when you're planning for big things, so I don't want to forget a single day. I'm hoping these photos preserve the kinds of moments that could easily slip from the mind.

Day 1 (above): This first photo was taken at exactly 12:01 am on New Year's Eve/January 1st as my friend Adam popped our first bottle of champagne.

Day 2: Daisy, Brian's parents' dog, watches us as we get into the car to drive back to Montreal after the holidays.

Day 3: Today was a really busy day. It's our first day back in the city after our glorious 2 week break and we had a million things to do. After we got home from work and errands, Brian entertained himself playing Goldeneye on Wii while I was busy wedding planning, uploading all my holiday photos, and editing engagement photos for my friends Roz and Kris. Today was also the day Brian taught his first university class.

welcome, twenty eleven

2011-01-02T21:10:00.000-08:00

I just returned to Montreal after two weeks off! This is the most time off I've had in years, so I decided to embrace the break fully and also separate myself from my computer.

It feels good to be back in the city and ready to get started on the year ahead. I bought a new camera! More on that soon.

Happy New Year!

montreal in winter

2010-12-11T10:42:00.000-08:00

Remember when I was telling you how Montreal is amazing in the winter? Here is some hard (and cold!) evidence:

And last night, we drank mulled wine and boozy hot chocolate around the fire in the park near our apartment. It was freezing and kind of a blizzard all around us, but so festive and cozy around the fire.

holiday 2010 beauty picks

2010-12-08T20:12:00.000-08:00

Welcome to my 2010 holiday beauty guide! Today's picks are the best products I've tried over the last few months, and plan on keeping handy for the holidays this year.

First up, Today was a Fairytale nail polish by Deborah Lippmann. I bought this to wear on my wedding day (and not because of the cheesy name, I swear - it matches my shoes), but I've kind of started wearing it already. You've got to test things out, right? Deborah Lippmann's polishes are generally quite fun, and many of them contain loads of glitter. Several of her polishes have been created with or inspired by celebrities (e.g. Bad Romance for Lady Gaga and Believe with Cher). The thing I like about the glittery shades are that they give great coverage with only one coat. I find this shade in particular to be really festive, and great for the holidays.

I've been meaning to buy MAC paints for years. After bemoaning melting eyeliner and disappearing shadow, I finally picked some up to prevent both effects. Paints are silky creams that can act as powerful eyeshadow primers, or will stay put as long-lasting shadows. When I was doing theatre, I saw a lot of makeup artists and other performers use these paints as stage makeup, as they hold up even under hot lights. I love the easy-to-squeeze tube format, and I am impressed with how little you need to get great results.

I had never heard of Pixi until my mom brought me back a bunch of wonderful makeup treasures from Target after a recent trip to Georgia. This brand seems to be aimed at a younger market, but its products are of really good quality. I enjoy this Wakeup kit, as it's great for travel (hello, Christmas holidays) and has a good balance of natural and more dramatic shades. The shadows and blushes are highly pigmented, and apply really well. The lipstick shades are current and suit a range of skin tones.

Another Pixi product, Lip and Line, is not a particularly new product idea, but the execution is good. The colour of the product in liner and lipstick is an exact match (to avoid that dreaded lined look) but it provides the shaping and staying power of liner with the creamy, heavier coverage of lipstick. The pale pink shade has a great matte finish and looks awesome when worn with a smokey eye and a bit of bronzer.

Benefit's Magic Ink liquid liner is the BEST eyeliner I have ever used. It it jet black, beautifully fluid, and should win awards for its incredible staying power. It even lasted through a snow storm, with my awkward "fight the wind" face and resulting tears. It is practically indelible, but does come off easily with makeup remover, or even soap and water. A lot of my clients and friends look at liquid liner suspiciously, as if it might hurt them or force them into looking like a post-bender Amy Winehouse. Liquid liner is best when applied with a light hand, and although it takes a bit of practice to master, is definitely worth the effort. I actually only use liquid and gel liners now, but more on that later.

My new hairdresser used Aveda's Volumizing Tonic on my fine, straight hair after my last cut and it worked wonders. It is made with aloe and wheat protein, smells incredible, and it really does pump up the volume. This is a great product for dramatic hairstyles for holiday parties. It's also what I used to get Sara's hair up to such great heights for her recent photoshoot.

Mannequin Skin by Jemma Kidd was another one of my mom's Target treasures. A small palette containing four different concealers (green to neutralize redness, a beige to prime eyes and lips, yellow to lighten dark circles, and shimmery shell pink to highlight), it is a great fix-all kit. It's also a good tool to keep handy for days where you may not be feeling your most glowy or may have had a few too many holiday cocktails the night before.

Similar to Mannequin Skin, Smashbox's Photo Op Under Eye Brightener is all about making you look fresh. What sets it apart from most other concealers is its consistency. It relies on light-reflecting particles to deflect darkness from under the eyes, rather than heavy pigmentation to cover darkness. This is particularly effective, because it just floats gently on top of skin, rather than sinking into any fine lines around the eyes. A definite winner.

Last up today is my final Target treasure, Dramatically Defining Long Lasting Gel Liner by Sonia Kashuk. As I previously mentioned, I now only use liquid or gel liners. This is mostly due to my eye shape, and the fact that my eyelids move eyeliner all the place. Unlike kohl liner, liquid and gel dry and stay where they're supposed to. I also find the colours to be richer and more vibrant in gels and liquids, and for eye shadows to pop more dramatically when applied next to them.

photoshop for beginners

2010-11-29T17:23:00.000-08:00

At the risk of sounding like a mom who's put her kid's artwork on the fridge, I'm about to share my homework with you.

A few months ago, I started taking a Photoshop class. Despite using the program for over 8 years, I have never really learned how to use it properly. I've taught myself a lot over time, but have focused only on developing techniques for lightly retouching portraits. As I'm taking on a higher volume of work, I decided it was time to learn to do things the right way and, hopefully, more quickly.

Within an hour of the first class, I mentally kicked myself for not signing up years ago. I was using the most roundabout, inefficient techniques to do things that could have taken just moments. I have been underusing and misusing Photoshop for years! Rather than cry over wasted time, I embraced the course and all it could offer. I just finished level 2 (of 10) and our final assignment was to make a collage using a collection of our own photos while incorporating some elements of magic, mystery or fantasy.

Here's what I'm handing in tomorrow:

And here are the photos it comprises:

To all you Photoshop wizards out there, have mercy on me. I am definitely a novice. But wow, I am so in love with this program now. How did it take me so long to discover its awesomeness? I feel like I just noticed the boy next door was cute once he took off his glasses, or just tasted wine for the first time or something. I'm late to the party, clearly. Level 3 starts in January. I can't wait to learn more!

wedding planning: attire

2010-11-23T18:53:00.000-08:00

There are now less than six months until our wedding. I cannot believe how quickly these last few months have flown by. My days have been filled with work, more work, overtime work, photo shoots, night school, writing a business plan, late night tv watching, makeup experimenting, baking, exercising, drinks and dinners with friends and, oh, wedding planning.

In stark contrast to what the special people on TLC and Slice wedding programming would have you believe, planning a wedding does not have to A) take over your life, B) be filled with agonizing decision processes, or C) destroy your relationship with the one you love.

I think one of the reasons stress arises is due to indecisiveness. When people actually consider their wedding day to be the best day of their lives, they dwell on each and every decision and torture themselves with all the different possibilities. People, if your wedding is the best day of your life, what comes after that day? Is it all downhill after that? It will be an incredible day, but it's also the beginning of something totally new, not the pinnacle of your life after which everything will pale in comparison. Come on!

If I hear one more woman refer to herself as a princess or utter the phrase, "it's MY day," I'm going to snap. Or, you know, just change the channel.

We have six months until our wedding and almost everything is... well, done. Since I last wrote about this, we've booked a band, our officiant, and my makeup artist (yay). Today I met with a jeweler for a custom ring consultation, and Brian and his guys will go meet with some tailors this weekend to see about custom-made suits. We've been slowly but surely crossing things off the giant to-do list, and I'm feeling pretty good!

My philosophy (and the one that's been keeping me sane) is to just enjoy the planning process by doing a lot of research, then being decisive once something seems good. Although the day will undoubtedly be incredible and wonderful, I know there will a whole life ahead of me to which I can look forward afterward!

So, decisiveness: I could have gone dress shopping for months and tried on dozens of dresses, but I was thrilled when I found the perfect dress(es) 6 months ago, so I made decisions and stuck with them.

But, just for fun, here are the images (out of the million on my computer) that have inspired my style for the day.

Images are from all of the blogs you see listed at the bottom of my blog roll :)

l'hiver est arrivé

2010-11-20T08:43:00.000-08:00

My Saturday morning routine consists of drinking lemon water (the surest way to a clean start after a few Friday night drinks) and browsing all my favourite photography, makeup, design and wedding blogs (which I don't always have time for during the week) while Brian sleeps for a few extra hours.

This morning I can hear a strange creaking noise, almost like old floor boards or squeaky door hinges, but much louder. Finally I realize that it's the great big maple tree that wraps around our balcony being blown by the furious wind. I can tell by watching it sway wildly in front of the brilliant blue sky that today is the first day of winter in Montreal.

When newcomers to Montreal ask me how terrible the winters are (because they already know they aren't gentle) I tell them the truth, but I also tell them the best thing I've realized after four winters here: this city is built for winter!

You can get almost anywhere you need to go underground, via the metro or underground walkways (downtown); many bars are equipped with fireplaces; cafés, tea shops and hot chocolate houses punctuate each block; also, as the mercury drops, cocktails are served noticeably stronger, or at least ordered more often. Most importantly, in Montreal, people's lives are not frozen by winter. The city seems to grow still more vibrant. We may be cold, but hibernating is not an option.

For the arrival of winter this year, I'm piling on the layers and heading to watch the Santa Claus parade, then baking cupcakes for Cupcake Camp Montreal before a night of food and wine for my best friend's birthday.

Winter, welcome to the city!

sara's shampain-inspired session

2010-11-15T13:21:00.000-08:00

When people come to me with inspiration colours, images, videos, or full-on concepts for their upcoming photo sessions, I generally jump up and down and/or squeal.

I love when people come to me with ideas. The more ideas a person brings to a photo session, the more invested he or she is in setting the scene. When a person tells me about personal interests, latest obsessions, or favourite places and things, it informs the way I shoot their photos and allows me to better tailor the photos to be an ideal fit for, and reflection of that person. For this reason, I often ask clients to send me inspiration images before we decide on a location for a shoot.

Sara is really into Marina and the Diamonds these days, and is especially into her videos. When she told me she wanted to base her photo session on Marina's Shampain video (you can watch it below), I nearly hyperventilated. The aesthetic is killer. The makeup was fabulous, and I was pretty sure I already owned all of the clothing items we would need.

We picked a date, a location, and got ready to go. These screen shots were our starting point:

And, of course, the video:

We couldn't get our hands on a smoke machine, so I added some digital smoke just for fun!

The cheesy smoke surfaces again!

Sara recently moved into a new place, and her beloved book collection definitely dominates its decor, so we decided to do the second half of her photo session amongst her towers of books.

Sara, you are so freakin' gorgeous! Thank you for being brave enough to spin around in the darkness, in the cold, in a park, wearing only a slip.

jenn by lantern light

2010-11-10T20:51:00.000-08:00

Here are the rest of the photos from Jenn's lantern shoot. Check out the green orb in the first few photos. I was convinced we had a supernatural presence with us during the shoot. The orb kept showing up in different places in at least 20 of the photos I took, and didn't seem to be a reflection or flare, from what we could tell. Cool, right?

Jenn, thank you so much for your time, patience and grace. You are a truly beautiful person.

cold weather photography

2010-11-09T09:22:00.001-08:00

When the weather starts to get cold, I usually start grumbling to myself about why Montreal is the worst place to be a location-based photographer.

Sure, it's picturesque, but everything starts to look the same when it's covered in snow. I should probably just pack up and move to Southern California, right? My clients and I can frolic in that beautiful, golden light and sip on mimosas made from the oranges we pick during our photo session. Ah, a girl can dream.

Since I'm not planning to move anytime soon, I am vowing to quit grumbling and make it work in Montreal. While it's easy and wonderful to take photos during the summer, it's challenging and kind of awesome to try my hand at cold weather sessions. Also, I'm trying to improve my low-light photo skills, but that's a whole other blog post.

Sunday night marked attempt number one. Jenn and I headed to Laurier Park, and, after finally figuring out how to light a kerosene lantern without blowing ourselves up, took a few photos. It was freezing, but we lasted about an hour and then rushed back to our respective homes to defrost with tea.

Once I uploaded them, I was pleasantly surprised with how they turned out. More photos to come soon.

Tonight, I'm heading out for attempt number two. Wish me luck!

time capsule camera

2010-11-06T08:26:00.000-07:00

An old disposable camera has been sitting in one of my drawers for about, oh, 6 years.

I see it when I'm looking for my passport, my checkbook, or when I'm digging through my pile of old movie ticket stubs. All this time I've been ignoring that poor camera, it's been holding really great memories. I finally got it developed yesterday and was taken aback by the haunting quality of the images. Disposable cameras, carefully (er, unintentionally) aged for a few years, really create a cool look and feel.

I guess I must have taken the camera with me to several different places, as it holds photos taken in London and Stratford, Ontario, at my cottage, and also in Montreal - all on one roll of film! Developing these photos was like opening a time capsule.

When I still shot in film, my mom and I used to drop off our rolls of film, do the grocery shopping, then pick up the prints and pretty much rip open the envelopes while looking at the photos on a bench in the grocery store. Now, I'm so accustomed to the instant gratification of digital cameras, that even resisting the urge to look at my LCD screen after I snap a shot feels like waiting forever.

Now I want to buy a few more cameras and purposely "age" them for a few years so I can travel back in time again and again.

This is Brian around the time that we first started going out. We drove to Stratford - a small town near London, Ontario - to get away from the buzz of undergrad life for an afternoon.

The Avon River in Stratford.

My roommate, Gill, outside the house we shared with 5 other friends in London.

My dog, Shelby, and (I think) my brothers at my cottage.

The view from our first apartment in Montreal.

october odds and ends

2010-10-26T19:48:00.000-07:00

Montreal is full of cool things. Here were some of my favourites this month:

Antique vignette portraits at Style LABO, an awesome store full of wonderful (if pricey) treasures on Rue Bernard in Montreal's Mile End neighbourhood.

Having breakfast at La Croissanterie Figaro, which has (you guessed it) the city's best croissants and an atmosphere akin to the best Parisian cafés.

Puces Pop, a semi-annual pop-up market that's packed with arts, crafts, and food. It's held in the basement of a Polish church, so you can always count on grabbing some perogies or cabbage rolls to fuel your shopping. This year there was a bakery from Brooklyn visiting and they were selling fantastic mini cupcakes, such as the bacon cinnamon (hells yeah) variety below.

Just walking the streets of my neighbourhood in the fall has gotta be one of the purest forms of pleasure. The colours are so bright, everything smells amazing, and the people watching is world-class.

I love when it's the end of the warm season and multiple layers of ivy have covered the walls of many buildings in the city.

You can't beat the moody skies of October.

Hot chocolate on a crisp, cool day is heavenly.

And, there is nothing like stocking up on new reading material at one of the many fall book fairs in the city.

After being super busy and out of town for half of the past month, I'm looking forward to having a slightly more low key November, curled up with all the books, hot chocolate and cozy fall outfits a girl could ask for.

bold colours, warm blankets

2010-10-14T13:46:00.000-07:00

Something happened yesterday that slowed everything down.

I was in the middle of a singing lesson with F, my 12-year-old student. I try to show her a few videos on YouTube each class, to give her some fun examples of whichever genre or artist I'm teaching her about that day.

Anyways, we were sitting cross-legged on the floor, watching Comme des Enfants by Coeur de Pirate when my friend Sara came out into the room carrying a big, red fleece blanked.

"She loves when stuff just comes out of the dryer," Sara explained as she tossed the blanket over F's shoulders.

F gleefully snuggled it around herself, then pulled the blanked over my back. The warmth of it embraced me while the clean laundry scent filled my nose. We just sat there watching the video (that was filmed in our neighbourhood) all cozy and quiet.

I felt entirely present in the moment, and I never wanted it to end.

Last weekend, when I was home for Thanksgiving, Brian patiently walked both of my family's rambunctious dogs for me as I wandered clumsily around the woods, snapping photos of the saturated colours and gorgeous light.

The silence of the forest is like a salve for a city girl's harried spirits. I just stood there, perfectly still and wanted time to follow my lead.

I use my camera so I never forget moments (or colours) like these. When I don't have my camera, I mentally snap off pieces of time and file them away for the darkest moments in the cold of winter.

portrait | ellen + tushith

2010-10-05T20:27:00.000-07:00

They were ready to trek far and wide, to bike kilometres from one beloved corner of the Montreal to another. They know this city inside and out, and can recite detailed histories of any given neighbourhood, street, or ongoing construction project. To say that Tushith (an engineer) and Ellen (an architect) have a love of cities and the buildings that comprise them would be a great understatement.

When deciding on the location for their portrait session, they couldn't agree on the best place. There are, after all, so many bests in Montreal. After much discussion, they remembered that they live mere blocks from one of best, or certainly the most beautiful: Square St-Louis. We started there, in the park, and then biked a few blocks to the rapidly-changing area where St-Laurent and Ste-Catherine intersect. Tushith and Ellen love the colourful grafitti and grittiness that may soon be painted or paved over to become part of the Quartier des Spectacles.

Ellen and Tush, thanks so much for spending a few hours on that perfect fall day with me. The sky was true blue, and you two are, too. You're both such elegant (yes, Tush, you're an elegant guy), classy people who love life and have really got your stuff together. You are the epitome of a power couple!

wasaga beach wedding: rhonda & brian

2010-10-03T10:48:00.000-07:00

It was a dark and stormy day. The tail end of Hurricane Earl had hit southern Ontario and a powerful wind was blowing through Wasaga Beach, but it was cozy inside Rhonda's house.

Although she shot occasional disapproving glances at the weather outside, Rhonda was calm and happy as she and her bridesmaids put on their jewellery, clutched their bouquets, and got ready for the big day.

This wedding was - even more than most - a family affair. Rhonda's children were the maid of honour and best man, standing proudly beside their mom and her new husband, Brian. Rhonda's father drove her to the church in his beautiful, cherry red, antique car, and her mom was quietly at her side throughout the day, making sure things were just right.

Despite unseasonably cold temperatures and gale force winds, this day was filled with so much warmth. While we took the portraits outside, Brian rubbed Rhonda's bare arms in between shots, and she grinned while shivering.

Rhonda and Brian, it was an honour to be a part of your wedding day, to celebrate with you and your amazing family, and to witness the beginning of what I'm sure will be a long and happy life together. Congratulations!

merci, summer 2010

2010-10-02T14:29:00.000-07:00

It's starting to get chilly here in Montreal! Fall is particularly spectacular in this city, but I am always too busy gulping back apple cider and shopping at craft sales to remind myself to take enough photos of the city as it changes to red and gold.

I'm going to be embarking on a huge photo project for work (fingers crossed) over the next few months, so I'll have my camera permanently glued to me to document the gorgeous change of season here.

This spring/summer was one of the best in recent memory. Between travelling, wedding planning, taking thousands of photos, and just enjoying this awesome city, there's been a lot of great things happening, and I have to remind myself to take moments to glue all those moments a bit more firmly into my memory. As a final goodbye to summer 2010, here are a few photos from my vacation this August.

on the couch

2010-09-27T20:54:00.000-07:00

I'm home sick today, lying in a comatose-like state on the couch, where I've been for the better part of 3 days in the same sweatpants. That's right - I haven't even changed my clothes.

Don't you hate it when the worst colds come out of nowhere? Even worse is when colds seem to arrive during the busiest weeks of life. I've been knocked off my feet, but in a weird way it seems like this was necessary.

I've just finished up edits on a few events I've been doing, and am looking forward to posting those images over the next few days.

In other news, I bought two new lenses this summer. This Canon 85mm prime lens, though by no means a pro-level lens, is the best I've got, and is my new favourite toy. It helps me take really dreamy images like this:

and blurs out backgrounds beautifully like this:

One day I'll be able to afford the lens, which is about 4 times the price of this one, but until that day, I am so happy to have this one.

And now, I'm heading back to the couch!

smashbox fall 2010 masquerade collection

2010-09-14T06:12:00.000-07:00

Right beside the building where I'm taking my Photoshop night classes is a huge drugstore with a sprawling luxury cosmetics section. It's the perfect place to visit during break time.

Tonight I tested Smashbox's fall 2010 Masquerade collection, and it is glorious. The three best parts of the collection are:

The Creamy Cheek Colour and Brush is so smooth, and it can be blended seamlessly and streaklessly onto the apples of cheeks using the kabuki style brush on the other end. Smart, compact, and high quality. The colour is also a great coral pink that would be flattering to most skin tones.

The eye palette is great because it contains a perfect balance of creamy and matte neutrals and very rich metallics. I tested every colour and each one is velvety and densely pigmented. I know the general rule is to wear the neutrals for day and jewel tones for night. I personally think, however, that if you blend a jewel tone really well into the crease of your eyelid, or apply it with a slanted brush to your top lash line, it looks stunning for day. This is one of the best, most versatile and wearable palettes I've seen in years.

The O-Gloss Noir is just amazing. Like the original O-Gloss, this lip gloss is meant to appear differently on every person's natural lip colour. On mine, it morphed into a perfect rose-plum that had just a hint of vamp. If I were to buy one part of this collection, O-Gloss Noir would be it!

guilt-free lazy days

2010-09-12T16:30:00.000-07:00

It's the kind of cool, gray, late-summer Sunday that I just love. You know, when it's gorgeously miserable outside and it provides the perfect reason to stay cozy and warm with a good book and a big bowl of soup or these lemon buttermilk cookies.

a willow tree and two of my beautiful cousins

2010-09-11T08:00:00.000-07:00

Long before I had my DLSR and clients, I had my mom's old Nikon camera and my family members. I've been talking my cousins into posing for me for as long as I can remember.

Over the last few years, I've had this thing about photographing my cousins by the willow tree at their cottage. I guess it's part of my obsession to document time and change, and it's partly a way of keeping a memory of the little time I get to spend with them.

Deanna is 16 and so carefree and vivacious. Her smile about 1000 watts, and her laugh is contagious. My youngest cousin, she has been asking me since she was a teeny little kid if she could be my flower girl one day. Next spring, just after her 17th birthday, she'll be walking down the aisle ahead of me.

Elise is 21, an accomplished dancer, and a girl so smart she would be majoring in about 6 programs at Western (my alma mater) if they'd let her. She may look serene, but she is constantly buzzing with energy and her ambition is pretty much coming out of her pores. Also, she has the best hair in the world.

our engagment photos by my family

2010-09-06T16:10:00.000-07:00

Having our engagement photos taken was such a wonderful moment that I know I will remember always. Not because I love posing for pictures but it was so memorable and comfortable to have the photos done by my entire family.

My mom — the master photographer with effortless, organic style who has taught me so much about photography and, you know, life —was the primary shooter. My brothers, Jon and Jeremy were second shooting, getting the side angles and the candid shots. All the while, my dad carting us to the various locations in his giant pick-up truck and patiently waiting while we did the photos. My dad is actually an excellent photographer too, but he was happy to play chauffeur that day.

For someone who detests posing for pictures or being the focus of attention, Brian was uncharacteristically cooperative. I actually think he enjoyed the experience.

My mom and Brian came up with the idea of using an antique car show as our setting, as our wedding has a late-50s theme. Luckily, there is a weekly car show right on the sands of Sauble Beach, Ontario, which is only a 20 minute drive from my parents' house. We got lucky with the beautiful, golden evening sun, but the humidity was intense, and my best laid plans for makeup and hair were quickly melted away.

None of these photos (except the black and white) have been touched by Lightroom or Photoshop. I wanted to do justice to the awesome, straight-out-of-camera work done by my mom and bros.

Okay folks, here's a whole lot of photos:

The next day was rainy and gray, but we decided to drive up the Peninsula the rugged shores of Georgian Bay by Emmett Lake. I was introduced to this location by my friend Lindsay, who has a cottage in the area as well. I love the giant slabs of rock that jut out into the turquoise water.

I am so full of love for Brian and for my family. Things get so busy, so being home for a full week and having the glorious luxuries of time and beautiful weather was just perfect.

engaged | jonina & jeremy

2010-09-02T16:33:00.000-07:00

It began with a casual observation: "Your redheaded cousins are hot."

Jeremy had seen photos of Jonina and her sister pop up his friend Jen's facebook albums and was intrigued by their beauty. Luckily, one of those two redheads was single and — Jen suddenly realized — would actually be a great match with Jeremy.

She decided her friend and her cousin had to meet. After telling Jonina all about him, Jen invited the two of them to a party.

From the moment they met, it felt so comfortable. The conversation was effortless, and they talked for the entire duration of the party. It helped that they'd both hounded Jen for information about the other before meeting, but they were so curious to learn more about each other, and they both instantly knew something really awesome was beginning.

Six months later, Jeremy proposed to Jonina with a beautiful citrine ring. She accepted, and we all first saw the news the same way Jeremy had first seen Jonina, though a photo of a blissfully happy Jonina, on Facebook.

Although many people have a love/hate relationship with Facebook, there's something to be said for the wonderful way it enables us to express ourselves, meet people, and share facets of our lives in a common stream. Connections are made, and news shared in large part through the photography that illustrates our stories on this channel.

These two have such a cool chemistry, and an awesome bond. Jonina just shines around Jer, and he is ebullient and constantly grinning beside her.

Jonina and Jeremy, I had so much fun doing your engagement photos and I can't wait to photograph your wedding next spring. All my love to the two of you.

More photos of Jonina and Jeremy >

to the beach!

2010-08-30T06:56:00.000-07:00

Hanging out at the beach with my family and Brian is so much fun and so relaxing, it feels like I'm dreaming. Things have been so crazy lately that I almost have forgotten how to chill out.

Last week, I was streaming an absolutely incredible, life-changing, fascinating, whirlwind of a wedding photography course, live! This 5-day wedding photography course with Jasmine Star was so energizing and inspiring. Jasmine spent 5 days teaching her students and online viewers all about the wedding photography industry and about building a photography business. Most impressively, she and her husband (and second shooter) shot a real wedding while teaching us about the whole process, and being filmed and streamed live!

I've been travelling so I have yet to finish the course, but I downloaded the whole thing yesterday and can barely contain myself I'm so excited to watch the rest. If you are even mildly interested in wedding photography, or becoming any kind of professional photographer, I would highly recommend downloading the course for a unique, engaging learning experience.

But now, I'm heading back to the beach...

the road to success is paved with... angst?

2010-08-24T17:47:00.000-07:00

I know even the word itself sounds dramatic and kind of old-fashioned, but there's something to be said for brooding. Sometimes you just have to take a few hours, a weekend, or a week, to mull over something, and to let all the stormiest of emotions flood your senses. Feeling bad, and allowing yourself to do so, to feel the worst of it, can feel so good. I was so into brooding this past weekend that I spent 3 hours wandering alone in the Botanical Gardens with my camera. With my iPod blasting and hoodie pulled up, I was the picture of teen angst.

There have been a lot of changes going on in my city, in my life, and in the lives of the people I love. Some heart-wrenching, and some wonderful. Life is growing more complex and the right answers are eluding me, both at steadily increasing rates.

I try to write about these things, but I also try not to write about them, here. I try to write, but the moment I hold back or try to transform my posts into something more simple and digestible, I succeed - my words turns to mush. No one wants to read mush.

I'm going to be honest with you and tell you that as my life is changing, so is this blog. As my parallel careers start to bloom and my audience grows, I kind of feel like the world is getting uncomfortably small, and that I should be somehow shaping what I write to meet my changing audience. I'm succumbing to the pressure to act like a grown-ass woman with a burgeoning career, basically.

But, I always swore that I would never affect my writing to earn a job, that if someone wouldn't hire me because of my blog, that company wouldn't be somewhere I'd enjoy working. I still believe this.

I'm thinking about my personal brand a lot, but not just for the sake of self-indulgence. I'm thinking about what my dream career and the company I plan to build with my own hands will look like when it is at its peak. I'm thinking about what I want to build the foundation of so that it can grow strong and successful. I'm thinking about what kind of people and businesses I would kill to work with.

I want my brand - the way I present myself here and everywhere - to be consistent with what I want to become. In doing this, I want it to be consistent with myself and what I love most. I'm hoping that if I do and say what I really feel, I will find opportunities that are what I really want to do, and what I'm honestly good at. I want people to want to hire me or work with me for what I'm really like.

I've been laying low and hiding beside my photos, using my lens to show what I've been seeing. Photography is something I'm comfortable with, and something that I work hard every single day on getting better at. I'm ready to work at my writing, at and getting better at being honest and expressive. This may mean my late-twenties angst (yes, I'm 27 now, so y'all know what that means) may surface from time to time!

A photographer who I greatly admire, Jasmine Star, talks a lot about how building a brand as a photographer is all about putting your real self out there, for better or for worse. Jasmine truly leads by example, and her work — and the way she presents it as something intimately tied to herself — is inspiring.

After a lot of thinking, brooding, feeling sorry for myself for not being where I dream of being yet, and then finally listening to Jasmine and other successful business people I admire, I've come to realize this: the best way to get where I want to go is to earnestly pursue what I love, and to be honest with myself and the whole world (critics included) about what my biggest dreams are, and about the process of achieving them.

So here is me being honest:

- I try to learn something new about photography or business every day because I feel like I know SO little

- I think I suck at Photoshop, so I signed up for a night class

- It's hard working full-time, teaching, planning a wedding, trying to become a photographer, and having long-distance relationships with my family and most of my close friends, but I always feel guilty when I say this because I feel so lucky, too

- I feel like I should be stronger, smarter, better, thinner, and more assertive than I am

- I'm so nervous about shooting my first FULL wedding next weekend. Help!

Here's to honesty, to my next post being more coherent, to being there for everyone I love in the best way I can, and to being okay with making huge mistakes and not knowing what the hell I'm doing!

coco rocha + james conran wedding videos

2010-08-23T18:10:00.000-07:00

If you haven't seen the teaser and 19-minute documentary of model Coco Rocha and interior designer James Conran's wedding yet, they are worth watching. Filmed in HD on a Canon 5D Mark II (the same camera Garance uses for her videos), the quality is exquisite. The couple seems truly so happy and in love. And, you know, it's set in a french castle on a dreamily drizzly, gray day and then lit by candles and fireworks as the scene darkens.

(teaser - 3 min)

Coco + James // Teaser from Americana Cinema on Vimeo.

(short film - 19 minutes)

Coco + James // Short film from Americana Cinema on Vimeo.

Via New York Magazine.