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17 June 2009

future me

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Sometimes I try to look into the future and imagine myself looking back into the past and thinking, "wow, I never thought I would get through that, but I did."

It might sound strange, but I find this exercise very comforting.

I like to think that a year from now I will look back and marvel at how it all came together. That all these days of sitting at my computer for 15 hours, and eating countless egg salad sandwiches, and wondering what that weird smell coming from under the counter is but being too afraid to check, and worrying that all my clothes are too hideous to wear to fashion week, and calculating how much I have to run to work off all the chocolate and cheese I eat, and wondering how I will ever become an in-demand photographer, and not knowing where I will be living in a year... will all be worth something.

My idealized version of future me (sitting in my real photo studio, drinking a big mug of blackberry tea, not worrying about money, wearing fabulous clothes) will chuckle as I look back on the long, worry-filled days of me spilling on myself and losing things and freaking out, and grin. And then future me will probably spill that tea on my fabulous clothes and be lectured by future Brian about being more careful and taking more pride in my stuff.

I try to throw some realism in there too, you know?

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7 comments:

Moonspinner said...

Love your sense of humor ~ having goals is key to achieving them so go for it!!

That second photo is my fav! :)

Erin said...

I think about this a lot, too...where I'll be this time next year, and in years beyond. Wondering if one day I will look back on my ghetto apartment and career uncertainty with warmth and humour, if I will be able to stay in my chosen field, if I will ever publish a book, if I'll ever be the photographer I want to be, or the mother I want to be one day. Current me has a lot of goals, and I hope future me lives up to them.

Oddly enough, my future involves a lecturing husband as well. (Oh, Adam. How I love your sweet nagging.)

You'll have the studio before long, I'm sure. I absolutely see that for you, and I'm sure everyone who knows you would agree. And you already have the fabulous clothes, whether you know it or not!

I'm off to eat chocolate now, because your post MADE ME DO IT. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

What lovely shots you have posted. I agree with Erin, your future will bring all that you desire and work towards.

Present Jess said...

I can totally relate to this - I often rely so heavily on "future Jess" that I manage to pawn off tasks or goals on her, because, well she's just going to have so much more time and she'll already be super fit and full of energy so why not take up boxing full time while she's at it?

But then before I start getting all worked up about it, I think about where I was five years ago (23, broke, trying to finish my degree, living in a shitty, tiny apartment, addicted to spearmint leaves and hot lips...) and am reassured that in five years from now I will be laughing at the thought of my 28-year-old self, sitting at my computer sucking back diet pepsi and trying to figure out how to get the paint out of my hair.

It'll all come together. Right?

gillian said...

I love the photos Dal! Beautiful! I look forward to the days of bragging about my successful photography friend! although i do already brag about your photo skills quite a bit, haha, hope you're doing well!

Jenn said...

Sometimes I think you're my doppleganger. I do this all the time, right down to injecting a bit of realism! I have to look at nice apartments each night to help myself fall asleep.

Kate said...

Omg you make me feel normal... I miss you! haha...