a willow tree and two of my beautiful cousins

Long before I had my DLSR and clients, I had my mom's old Nikon camera and my family members. I've been talking my cousins into posing for me for as long as I can remember.

Over the last few years, I've had this thing about photographing my cousins by the willow tree at their cottage. I guess it's part of my obsession to document time and change, and it's partly a way of keeping a memory of the little time I get to spend with them.

Deanna is 16 and so carefree and vivacious. Her smile about 1000 watts, and her laugh is contagious. My youngest cousin, she has been asking me since she was a teeny little kid if she could be my flower girl one day. Next spring, just after her 17th birthday, she'll be walking down the aisle ahead of me.

Elise is 21, an accomplished dancer, and a girl so smart she would be majoring in about 6 programs at Western (my alma mater) if they'd let her. She may look serene, but she is constantly buzzing with energy and her ambition is pretty much coming out of her pores. Also, she has the best hair in the world.

wedding planning: part 1

So, back in April, my sweetheart and I got engaged. I guess I've been kind of quiet on the subject since then. That's not to say I haven't been busy. On the contrary, I've been deep into the plans.

Our date is set, our venue is booked. We've found a very talented and super sweet photographer, Lisa Mark. Our catering will be done by the venue, so that's another big thing off the list.

I have my dress. Actually, um... I have two dresses. Don't hate me. I'm not a Bridezilla in the making, I swear. My first dress was 70% off, and the second was bought for an extremely low price at Ragtime, a fantastic vintage store in Ottawa. My mom and I found the first one and knew it was the one. One of my co-maids of honour, Jennie, and I found the second one and she said I just had to get it too. Both dresses are exquisite, and each is very different from the other. I wish I could show you photos now, but I'm trying to keep at least a few things a surprise.

My bridesmaids have also started to find their dresses. Each of them is choosing her own. I've only given them loose guidelines (colour, length), and I can't wait to see what they all choose.

We've even chosen our theme (yes, we're doing a theme) and colour palette. We're starting to work with our awesome friend Farah of House9 Design to do the invitations. It's all coming together pretty well. The project manager in me is gleefully ticking off items on a long list, and the artist in me is constantly dreaming up different aspects of the day's aesthetic.

Luckily, our next task is engagement photos. Brian and I have compromised, since he loathes the idea of doing these photos. He chose the setting: a vintage car show on the beach. Since I went through a 2-year phase I was really into car shows (and terrible car movies like The Fast and the Furious and Gone in 60 seconds... and once aspired to be a custom paint job airbrush artist... and used to drive to vintage car shows held in the mall parking lot in my parents' car blasting Ludacris' Southern Hospitality and thinking I was the coolest), I happily agreed that this would be a perfect location. My mom's doing the photos!

And now it's time to get down to the less glamourous aspects, like budgeting.

obsessions/distractions

For the past 2 weeks, I've been obsessed with checking things off to-do lists. I've got a few more big tasks to tackle before I let myself get back to the fun stuff (including blogging).

I'll be back soon with:

- photos
- new beauty product reviews
- before and after photos chronicling my decorating and organizing efforts

how did this happen?

Man, I don't know what's up with me. Why is it that when I have the most on my mind, I am the least able to express myself? To sum things up as briefly as possible, I am in the midst of an in-between crisis, which entails a lot of finishing and starting, not knowing where I am going, and wondering about everything.

A few days ago I went back to Burlington for a visit. Although I usually enjoy my time there, each subsequent visit is more jarring as less and less things are familiar. Since my parents no longer live there, I have no home base per se, and fewer and fewer places I feel comfortable staying. I don't even stay with my relatives due to the ongoing saga of raccoons, crackheads, and con artists who frequent the place.* Most of my friends are either moving, travelling, or living at their parents' places. As such, I usually stay at my friend Rozlyn's boyfriend's place (thanks, Kris!). The ground is moving beneath my feet.

As of September, I will be living my life en Français. Tentatively, the plan may be to work part-time while studying French. As I will be in Montreal for the foreseeable future, I may as well be able to communicate. Happily, though, I was able to arrange all the moving day details with the current tenants of our future apartment, who are from France and speak no English. I even managed to tell them I want to buy their stackable washer/drier and butcher's block. I may have a terrible accent and limited vocabulary, but at least I'm not totally hopeless. I'm like those moms who, surging with adrenaline, lift cars to save their children. My nerves drive me miraculously wrench words and phrases out from behind my trembling lips. Maybe I'm being dramatic, but it can be scary, not knowing what the hell to say!

The past week has been a big one for weddings. Our first family wedding, my cousin's, is this coming Saturday (side note: Brian just called to ask if he could skip the wedding to go see Brad Garrett —"Robert" from Everybody Loves Raymond — instead). My former roommate Maia, and her boyfriend Michael got engaged. And, my oldest friend Lindsay got engaged and asked me to be in the wedding party. Mother of pearl, my adulthood came out of nowhere.

Speaking of aging, while in Burlington I ran into a girl I nannied for two summers during undergrad. After asking me how old I am, she exclaimed, "Holy, you are old as mold!"

Nice. Yep, 25 is really getting on I suppose. Come to think of it, I feel especially elderly at this moment, while cooking dinner for my parents. My dad is doing some work at the cottage (15 minutes away), and my mom is at her tarot card class. They are living the life! Well, it's time for me to get the risotto on the stove.

* Not a hint of exaggeration there, but that story is for another day.

too much and too little

A LOT has transpired over the past week. Suffice it to say I am short on time to write at the moment. But I will be back as soon as I find a minute, with stories of an all-night, city wide party, another snow storm, and my new 85-year-old dance partner.