18 March 2010

block it like it's hot

I'm not sure when it started, but over time, I've been losing my ability to write. This blog has become, primarily, a photo blog. I'm happy about this, because I'm shooting all the time, playing around on Photoshop, taking night classes to improve my craft and learn about entrepreneurship, and I love sharing my work here. Everything I've been pouring my energies into has been connected in some way to photography.

So that's great, right? I'm starting to see a return on all this time and passion I've invested. The photo stuff (minus the stolen camera) is really flourishing.

But my ambition creates a hydra that constantly stands in the way of confidence. Every time I chop off a head by accomplishing something, 3 other heads pop up, screaming, "but you suck at this area of your life, and you need to be really good at it — focus on this!"

Right now all the heads are screaming the same thing: "you suck at writing!"

As you can see here, I'm not exaggerating. But I want so much to be better, to write well, to hold a candle to the writers I admire. As always, I read voraciously, hoping to absorb some of their eloquence, but I just get... stuck.

I thought our skills were supposed to sharpen as we aged, enhanced by time and effort. My writing abilities are growing duller by the day. The only way I figure I can reverse this is to start, um, writing again, even if does mean subjecting you to some low-calibre stuff.

So, I suppose this is a disclaimer of sorts. I'm blocking the block by pretending I can write, and tricking myself into having the confidence to try.


Amanda [Not A Model] said...

I think everyone has these kinds of moments with different talents in their lives. I think you're a fabulous writer (and I've been reading for years) so I'm sure your zest for writing will return. If not, your photography speaks words for itself.

Eos said...

I agree. Even as a person who is primarily a writer I get times when I have an idea in my head and for the life of me can't seem to put it into words. And your photos are simply amazing, so I wouldn't worry too much:)

Sash said...

Ah, writing comes and goes, sometimes it works, sometimes its as eloquent as pushing shit up a hill... Just write what you feel, dont worry too much about grammar and spelling. Just write. and if your happy to practice that in a public way, on a blog, then do it! there is a freedom in it, and when you dont think too much about it, its always better.

I love your photos, and your writing style is blogger, simple, to the point,clear - there's nothing wrong with that. If your bored of it, just try something different! We'll all read it!!

xxx Hope Canada is warming up for you :) Let me know if you ever make it to the equator - I'll put a beer on ice. xx