20 December 2005

mysterious new moon rising

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Tomorrow is the winter solstice. I've been buried in books for a while now--both for school and fun--but I can still feel a change in the air. Is it the turning of the season, the breath-holding before a final semester, monthly fluctuations or is there something else...different?

Lately I've been struggling with this blog. I love writing so much that if my thoughts aren't transcribed onto a page, they don't know where to go. I would tell you everything, but it wouldn't feel right. I am a firm believer in the idea of a sacred space for some thoughts, for secrets. I am not a "daily me" blogger, and yet I apparently am, right this minute.

What I mean is, this is a public space and I want to share but how can you explain the in-between-updates moments where you haven't done anything remarkable or scandalous? Some periods of time lend themselves best to silence, or at the very least, to privacy.

If there's ever a post for anyone to relate to though, maybe it is this one. Since blogging has caught on, it seems like every baby step of our lives is thrown online. Passing comments, funny incidents, regrettable actions, social critiques are translated into a blog-able format (which often means enhancing or misrepresenting what actually happened) and archived into a chronological, quasi-interactive "journal".

When we sum up, stretch or sexify our stories we place them in a strange context. We publicly rewrite our own histories, and engage friends and strangers to join as we immortalize things that may not have happened as we blogged. No one wants an empty comments section, bloggers want to stay in the sphere of interest, so we feel pressured to post at certain intervals. If we fall behind, we are not only disappointing our audiences, but almost betraying the increasingly common practice of recording our lives as they unfold.

It also seems to me that we even choose situations and behave in ways that are blog-able, that will make great stories and rake in the hits. We catch up with eachother by clicking on our links, as we see eachother less. That's what blogs are also wonderful for though: keeping in touch. Hell, I managed to show you all a piece of my life in Tanzania. Who am I to bemoan blogging? It opens up glimpses into new worlds and it keeps loved ones in touch when face-to-face contact is not possible.

But when face-to-face contact is available, we are still connecting via blogs. I love this and I hate it. I love being able to know what everyone is "up to" but would much rather see them in person. I want to hear the real stories, or watch them happen, to share experiences with people rather than read...

But we're growing up and gradually diffusing into the world. If I can't see everyone, at least I can "watch" as some of the most talented, sincere and phenomenal friends I have venture out to carve their places in the world. Their blogs will tell me the way things are happening to them, personally. That, I look forward to.

On another note, it is the break and it's been awfully pretty up here.

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The Festival of Northern Lights

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snow monsters

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Peace for a few!


b said...

great post. i, as i've frequently stated, feel the same way.

bacon is the only one who really knows whats "down".

montreal beat ottawa tonight.


dallas said...

bacon does...and he still remains such a mysterious presence online. I know you're there, bacon...reveal yourself!

invitationinside said...

dallas, i loved reading this post. everything you said hit it straight on the nail. its sad that we see each other less and less though. the pictures look gorgeous. oh owen sound. well have a merrry christmas..and maybe see you next week in burlington. love mel

Curly said...

I may sound a little naive here, but do you think that people do generally stretch, sexify or re-write our histories?

Perhaps we do in order to make our posts more readable. I very rarely take time to think about the story-like qualities of my blog - this shows in many of the "And THIS happened, the HE said THAT and SHE went back to THERE" posts!

I've only come here very now and then but I love your pictures, what camera do you use - the quality is fantastic! (Obviously the photographer is great too...!)