21 April 2008

a pinch of risk, a smidgen of faith

We didn't meet to commiserate, to wallow in the sting of both being rejected on reality tv. Rather, we met today to talk about where that rejection had led us.

Over iced black tea lemonades, she noted that it had led her to take stock of her life. Until recently, she was a Concordia master's student like me. However, she has since left her program, after reluctantly admitting that it's just not making her happy.

"I realized that it would do me more harm than good to finish the program," she explained.

So, in what I think is a pretty courageous move, she dropped out and is moving back to her home city to try something completely new. Going through the audition process helped her recognize that her passion is music. While preparing for the audition, she felt more exhilirated and energetic than she felt in a long time. She liked that feeling, and didn't want to trade it in for the hum of boredom and obligation that her current life had been producing. So now she is going to look for a day job and pursue music.

I like that she knows the two seem to go hand in hand: day jobs and moonlighting. I like that she accepts that and is willing to take the risk. Music is almost always risky, which is what makes it so sexy.

For me, the rejection led me back to Montreal, to finish what I started. And now, it seems, I will be staying after all. Maybe.

Last night, at another coffee shop, I sat across the table from another person. We had one of those "big" talks — the kind that have a lot of bearing on the future. We also talked about risks, and how we might go about handling them. He pretty much knows what he's doing next, and I am ... getting closer to knowing. But I know where we stand, and that's gotta count for something.

1 comment:

Erin said...

lovely post. you'll land on your feet, wherever you go.